Day 39 - 'Must be the best' Character (Part 2)

For context please refer to:

Day 38 - 'Must be the best' character (Part 1)

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with those that I work with, instead of accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that I am equal to and one with those that I work with, and when I compare myself to them, I am in fact separating a part of myself from myself.

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and separate myself to that of my peers in the realization that when I judge my peers as less than, I am in fact placing judgment on a part of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge a former co-worker of mine as superior in separation, because I saw him as being very proficient at his job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the memory of my former co-worker and the way I judged his apparent proficiency in his job.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that the proficiency simply came from gaining experience throughout time and putting in the time neccessary to understand the basics of how to proficiently do the job.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that my peers are perfectly capable of being as or more proficient than I am at my job, with enough time placed into the process to get there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the value of a person in how proficient they are at the job that they perform.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand why it is that I define the value of a certain person based on how proficient they are at their job.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I had defined value of a person based on their proficiency at a certain task, from a young age, through seeing the way that people respond to someone completing the task proficiently.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that people ultimately respond positively to those that can complete tasks proficiently, just as the gladiator was proficient at killing his opponent, so came the positive accolades and apparent valuing of him as more than.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I have a belief that the only way I can be valuable is by being proficient at what I do for other people, so others will value me as more than.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my own value within how I believe others view me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others view me as more valuable if I am proficient at my work or a certain task, that helps them complete their work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define those that do not seem proficient at their work as less valuable, and therefore less than.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the thought of ‘not pleasing someone’ because I am not proficient at the task I must do to support their work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought of ‘not pleasing someone because I am not proficient at the task that I must do to support their work’, and the negative emotion of fear, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the thought of ‘others hating me and seeing me as less than and a pile of dirt because I don’t support the current abusive unequal system structure or their beliefs of how a system should be structured to support ones self-interest’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought of ‘others hating me and seeing me as less than and a pile of dirt because I don’t support the current abusive unequal system structure or their beliefs of how a system should be structured to support ones self-interest’, and the negative emotion of fear. Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continually support an unequal and abusive system because it supported my self-interest, instead of accepting and allowing myself to stand here eternally within equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my experience of myself will be much better and more grand if I were to be promoted and come into a higher position of power.


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that if I look back throughout my life, I can see that getting higher and higher company positions and more responsibility doesn’t actually equate to a more grand and better experience of self.

I see/realize/understand that no matter what position that one take on, one still remain here eating, breathing, shitting, pissing.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that ‘to be the boss’, the neccessary amount of time must be put in, otherwise it will be very difficult to lead and direct others.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to learn from boss’s, through stopping comparison and judgment and living here in the moment, observing them.